link but I cannot stress enough just how much guys are able to compartmentalise this kind of thing and how it doesn't mean anything in respect of their partners, or their love for them." />

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Porn addiction and the associated lying and secrecy were the main reason for our divorce. There was also passive aggressive behavior, including withholding sex and affection when I didn't do what he wanted. Post reply. Return to Your Reasons For Divorce. Recent Articles. Find out the risks and how you can protect yourself before filing your taxes jointly. Read More. Doing your own divorce is tempting, especially if money is tight. Here are some things to consider before proceeding. After a bad marriage and a bad divorce, many women are ready to get rid of this symbol of eternal love.
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My cousin once told me that pornography was a necessary evil, especially in a marriage. His theory was that while the idea of having a long, loving marriage filled with gratifying sex was a nice one, the reality was that people got bored with each other and turned to pornography to spice things up. Apparently, according to my cousin, without pornography the divorce rate would be higher, more men would turn to prostitution, and more married couples would seek out affairs to satisfy their sexual longings this all coming from the guy who was currently on his third marriage. Strangely enough, I believed him. I bought into the societal notion that sex between a married couple gets boring after a while and that to keep my husband interested in me, I had to up the ante. I never dreamed that pornography would become an addiction and eventually tear my life apart. But sure enough, pornography was the drug, and I was the pusher. My husband and I met online in Within nine months we were living together, and six months later we were married. We were both young and naive, and pornography was a part of our relationship from the start.

We have been married for three years. I love my husband very much. As far as I can tell the feeling is mutual. We are both still very 'lovey-dovey' and affectionate with one another and our sex life has been very good. We tell each other we love one another every day, etc. However, over the last two to three months I haven't been that interested in sex. So we've probably done it only once a month. Yesterday afternoon I was surprised to catch my husband looking at a pair of breasts on the Internet. I immediately confronted him. I was hurt and deep down upset but began talking maturely about it and ask him why he did it.

We have been married for three years. I love my husband very much. As far as I can tell the feeling is mutual. We are both still very 'lovey-dovey' and affectionate with one another and our sex life has been very good. We tell each other we love one another every day, etc. However, over the last two to three months I haven't been that interested in sex. So we've probably done it only once a month. Yesterday afternoon I was surprised to catch my husband looking at a pair of breasts on the Internet.

I immediately confronted him. I was hurt and deep down upset but began talking maturely about it and ask him why he did it. His answer, 'I don't know. I guess because we haven't had much sex lately. What most annoyed me was that he was doing this behind my back. I've asked that in the future he is honest and open with me about this. He says he feels ashamed and embarrassed and that he has learnt his lesson and won't do it again. We also agreed to communicate more openly with each other and to make more of an effort with our sex lives which as I suggested includes buying a sex book to help with ideas.

It's the first time I've caught him at this sort of thing but because of his deceitfulness I have suddenly lost some trust in him and can't seem to stop myself becoming angry about it and upset. I would even go as far as to say I don't feel I completely know him as much as I thought I did. I have even started doubting him and think he might have an affair — that is if he hasn't already. What also annoys me is that my husband is someone who sometimes appears to be a bit uncomfortable about sex with me. Whenever I've asked in the past and there have been a few times whether there is anything else we could be doing to improve it for one another he just says, 'No I like it the way it is — except maybe we could do it some more.

But, he doesn't have that much of sex drive himself! He seems to have started believing he is old and has lost some of his sex drive. Yet he seems to find it suitable to look on the internet at porn! If that doesn't suggest a sign of having a libido I don't know what is. Suddenly I find that I've become quite scared about our relationship. I love him but his looking at other women's breasts on the Internet and hiding this from me makes me wonder what else he is hiding. Obviously I can't keep going on at him about this.

He just ends up feeling guilty and ashamed and is sad that he has 'let me down'. I have to just try and remedy it and turn it around so that we can move on.

He has told me this has only gone on for the last month and only a few times but I bet it's gone on for a lot longer and this is perhaps something he does even when our sex life is going quite well. I don't feel I like him too much at the moment. Please help sort me out and get things into perspective again. I'm afraid of getting hurt and him going off and finding someone else. This is my first sexual relationship and I'd like some feedback on men and their porn fetishes.

Yours is one of hundreds s of emails we've received in recent years from women who are upset because they have caught their partners looking at sexy pictures on the Internet. I'm sorry about it, but it is a very common occurrence — particularly when the man feels that he 'hasn't been getting enough'.

I also find, in my medical practice, that it's often shy, diffident men who resort a lot to the Internet sex sites. This is probably not much consolation to you, but the fact is that most men who read your email would say: 'Why shouldn't he look at a pair of breasts on the Internet? It's clear that you and your husband would benefit from some counselling. Over to Christine Yes, I think a bit of counselling would not be a bad idea. You can both discuss this particular problem, but also get to grips with varying your sex lives a bit more and also working out what you both want from each other.

I would also like to emphasise how much I agree with David on this porn issue. The fact is that Internet porn is so readily available that the vast majority of younger men take a look at what's on offer at some point or another, simply because it's there.

I'm sorry this has upset you so much - and it does upset a lot of women - but I cannot stress enough just how much guys are able to compartmentalise this kind of thing and how it doesn't mean anything in respect of their partners, or their love for them. But this does need sorting out, I think.

And probably the best way to tackle it would be for the two of you to look at the Relate website and opt to have some email, online, phone, or face-to-face counselling.

Personally, I think you have a good, loving and strong relationship, so please don't despair. Can I convince her that I am not a pervert? Can men look at porn and still want their wife? He keeps on and on looking at porn on the Internet. He prefers Internet porn to the real thing. He watched porn while I slept. He watches porn videos in secret. His fetish is ruining our marriage. Husband is into Internet porn and emotionally involved with someone else. I found love-messages when I looked at my partner's email account I have miscarried twice — and my husband is obsessed with porn.

My boyfriend has an online porn habit. My ex-partner enjoys smacking my bottom. My husband is hopelessly addicted to porn. My man has spent lots of money on premium rate phone lines. My partner is a transvestite. Porn sites on my computer. Support for transvestite guy. There was gay porn on my boyfriend's PC.

Last updated Type keyword s to search. Question We have been married for three years. Answer David writes: Yours is one of hundreds s of emails we've received in recent years from women who are upset because they have caught their partners looking at sexy pictures on the Internet.

Christine adds: Yes, I think a bit of counselling would not be a bad idea. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. More From Sexual health. Don't enjoy sex? Anal finger play explained. The contraceptive pill and vaginal discharge. Watery semen - causes, effects and fertility. How to overcome penis size anxiety. Dark marks around the vagina explained. How to delay your period for the holidays. Viagra and blood pressure.

Sexual health Ask the expert He keeps on and on looking at porn on the Internet He prefers Internet porn to the real thing Can men look at porn and still want their wife?



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