Harper Finkle: Don't you see what you've done? Used magic to make your relationship OK. I don't think that's right. Jerry Russo: As a great poet once said: "Don't go changin' to try to please me. Max Russo: Hey, Monster Guy. You may've noticed that lately I've been acting like I totally don't know what's going on.
Max Russo: So you noticed; great. Yeah, like, like remember when I let all those monsters out of that book? Justin Russo: Yeah. They all escaped and destroyed the rest of the monster hunters, but me. Max Russo: Yeah, that's not the worst part. Um, one of those monsters, uh, was the mummy who stole your girlfriend, so, I mean, I guess "technically" you can, can be mad at me.
Max Russo: Justin, one last favor. Could you maybe pretend to be the waiter so she doesn't know I'm being chaperoned. Justin Russo: Yeah dude, no problem. I got a suit that I've been dying to wear ever since grandma made that miraculous recovery.
Alex Russo: I used a spell to get you guys to go out when you asked me not to meddle, and I'm sorry. And now I see that I used magic when I didn't have to.
The real magic is you two working together. Harper: Aw. Thanks, Alex. Doing good. Justin Russo: And that's when the great Chinese wizard Lee first used dragon scales to build an impenetrable box for safeguarding one's wand. And then in the twelfth century there were nine native Jerry Russo: Time! Uncle Kelbo: [passes his wand phone to Alex] Okay, you remember what to say, right?
Alex Russo: Yes. Excuse me, I was just checking to see if your refrigerator's running. Max Russo: [reading a comic book] The best superhero crime fighter on the planet, is Mr. Spandex Avenger. Alex Russo: Ooh, cute tights.
Oh my gosh, I totally have the same pair. Harper Finkle: Whoa, that last multiple choice question was really hard. I got A. Nellie Rodriguez: Yeah, I can't wait. It's going to be so much fun. Maitre D': Ladies. Theresa Russo: Oh, it's lovely. Justin Russo: [on phone] Eh, Mom. OK, so you and dad crossed over into New Jersey, right? Then it's official; I'm in charge. Justin Russo: I know, I know, I know. But if there was, then would I be in charge? Alex Russo: [Alex hits him with a water balloon] Oh, look, a tidal wave.
Now you're in charge. Alex Russo: Justin, when you wear it every day for a week, it's not new; it just needs a wash. Max Russo: [Max hits him with a water balloon] OK. I washed it.
You're welcome. Alex Russo: Why is that so important to you? What about living, having fun, doing stuff you tell stories about? Like this, this is going to be a great story to tell. Justin Russo: The only people you could tell this story to would ground you.
Alex Russo: If you'd calm down every once in a while, I would tell you stories. I bet you've always wondered what happened to your light-saber and cape. Justin Russo: Alex, how am I supposed to be calm when you tell me stuff like that! Max Russo: Oh, come on, you grandpas! Can't anyone dunk me? You know, it's really hot out here. I could really use a dip. Theresa Russo: So you fix a magic mirror the same way you fix a regular mirror?
Magic is lame. Justin Russo: On behalf of all mankind, I'd just like to say thank you for recycling your old electronics. Or as we tech-world hipsters like to call it, "e-waste". Alex Russo: Hey, brainiac? You can't put "e" in front of everything and make it sound high-tech.
Harper Finkle: I did it, Alex. I finally got enough fundraisers to pay for my spot on the annual class trip to Europe. Oh, you'd laugh when I did the clown car wash. Theresa Russo: Harper, I'm gonna pretend that you're my daughter for a minute. I'm so proud of you, mija! A football phone, a singing fish trophy, and a toaster with a four-year-old bagel stuck in it. Justin Russo: Mom? Okay, hold on here.
This is an e-waste drive, all right? Not some excuse to get rid of Dad's stuff while he's on his yearly trip to Jones Beach with his buddy Pony Boy and their metal detectors. Alex Russo: It is scary how always right I am. Alex Russo: Yo, happy-go-trashy, come back here! Don't you see me sweeping?
What would your mother say if she saw you do that, huh? Alex Russo: That's right, mama would be mad; so am I. Now pick that up. And that cup, too. Jerry Russo: Now, what you are about to see I normally don't condone, but it's a heck of a lot of fun. Justin Russo: [Alex brings Cupid into Waverly place and fails to get rid of him] What are we gonna do? We still have Cupid. Alex Russo: Dad, where's mom? She's supposed to turn up to my marriage and family class. Harper Finkle: Hey Alex.
Look what I knitted for Justin. Alex Russo: Er, Harper Look, I hate to burst your bubble here, but Justin's only acting like that because Max just shot him with Cupid's love arrow. Harper Finkle: Gosh! I guess you're right.
It's not real love if it comes from his butt and not his heart. Theresa Russo: Ah, Justin. You have been so anxious about the mail all week, honey.
It's just a dollar twenty-five rebate on maple syrup. Give him two fifty to get him to stop talking about it, Jerry.